What I’m Doing to Potty Train My Four Year Old
Potty training. It’s an interesting time. My four year old went through it soon after he turned three. We had waited until he was ready and he was potty trained in three days. It was amazing. While I would have loved to have had him potty trained before that, he just wasn’t ready and so I didn’t push it.
However, one mistake we made was with the pull-ups. He still wears them at night and at naptime. While they are awesome in terms of a “one thing at a time” approach to potty training, I now fear that we allowed my big boy to only potty train himself through the day. At the same time my kid is a deep, deep sleeper. I know that some of the obstacle is that he simply doesn’t wake up. It’s all a guessing game when it comes to kids and potty training, right?
Either way, I wanted to come up with an incentive program to potty train him out of pull-ups all together during night time. I started with a simple incentive where when he got to five dry pull-ups he could pick out any toy he wanted. (Granted, we went to the Dollar Tree – but hey, it worked.) The problem with this system is that my kid is smart. He would have a dry pull-up when he felt like it and build up to the toy. He didn’t care in between.
I needed a system that had consequences as well as incentives. My friend Cheryl was sharing something she did to potty train her little girl, and I thought it was brilliant! So far, it’s been working. I won’t say that it’s been perfect because we’ve still had a few wet nights, but I will say that my kiddo is trying really hard. The first thing he says to me is “I see blue!”.
What did people do before they had diapers that would tell you when the kid was wet? We are living in luxury, folks.
The goal of this potty training system is to fill the jar with balls. All you need to create this system is balls, a container and markers. I chose to buy ping pong balls at the Dollar Tree. I already had the container.
The only other thing you need for this system are the rules. Here are our rules:
INCENTIVE: You get to put one ball in the container when you have a dry pull-up.
CONSEQUENCE: You have to take one ball out of the container when you have a wet pull-up.
I numbered the balls because I wanted to have achievable goals. Our jar was so big I knew he would feel overwhelmed if the first prize came at the 24th ball. Below, you’ll find what he came up with. I think it’s really important to let your child pick the goals. It makes them real. This is what my four year old came up with.
5 – Toy At The Dollar Tree
10 – Rent a Movie
15 – Get a big toy, Optimus Prime
24 – Zoombezi Bay (waterpark)
As you can see, they get more expensive. But then again, so are pull-ups!
This is working so well that my four year old tried to manipulate the system. A few days ago he came to me in the morning and told me his pull-up was dry. We added a ball to the jar. A few hours later my husband walked into his room and noticed a wet pull-up on the floor. The little stinker had changed pull-ups. When he was confronted, he confessed. The kid is smart. He also had to remove 3 balls from the jar for lying about it. We made a conscience decision that the balls were only consequences for potty training, not for other offenses made during the summer. However, since the lying involved the pull-up, we included it.
I don’t think he’ll do that again.
Overall, I think it’s been a success. I’ve never seen him more motivated to get out of his pull-ups. Just this morning he reached ball 5, and so we’re headed out to get a toy at the dollar tree. It took him about 10 days to reach this goal, so we’re super proud of him!
What are you smiling about, my little two-year old kid? You’re next!
Comments & Reviews
Eden says
My son pulled out the potty seat from the closet himself at 18 months and began sitting on it. We encouraged but didnt’ push that young, but before you know it he was peeing in it when he sits, and the occasional poop. I was so excited thinking potty training would be so much earlier this time. Now he’s 2 1/2 and uses it here and there, but just will not make the effort to go BEFORE he goes potty. He’s all proud when we put him on it and he goes, but if he’s playing he doesn’t care if he’s wearing underwear or whatever, he just goes and doesn’t even bother to tell me half the time. He’s fully capable, just not ready to make the extra effort to stay dry yet.
Jenny says
My son is almost 21 months old and he is in size six diapers. That is the biggest size there is. Any advice?
Lynette says
Hi Jenny, I watch Amazon and buy in bulk when I see a great deal. I’m still buying pull-ups and that’s how I’ve found the best prices.
Lee says
My son is huge, too. He was potty trained before 3 but was such a heavy wetter at bed that we put M/L night time pull ups on him. We had a newborn at the same time, so it was hard to get him to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Around 4, he got out of the night time pull ups (was in a L – Boys size 7/8 I think) and was peeing in toilet at night (avid morning pooper always in the toilet – that was a gift from my friend who poop- trained her son and mine at the same time!!!)
I hope this helps. Sams and Costco were the lowest prices – look for coupons, too.
Cindy Leonard says
We didn’t ‘have’ pull ups until I’d had my third child. I thought what a great idea but soon realized they were toooo good and my son wasn’t uncomfortable so why bother going to the potty. I stopped using them and reverted to the cloth training pants and those plastic ones to go over them. It went a lot faster. I was lucky to be able to be a stay at home mom which made ‘potty training’ a lot easier.
How To Potty Train a Boy says
Wonderful web site. Lots of helpful info here. I am sending
it to several friends ans also sharing in delicious. And
certainly, thanks in your sweat!
Chione says
We too are battling with our four year old for motivation. She is fully capable of taking care of business, but neither the carrot nor the stick seems effective. Our current iteration is similar to yours, except it doesn’t ramp up. We are using check boxes on a dry erase board — each day she stays dry (not including overnights), she earns a check mark. If she has an accident, she loses one. We started with a very reachable goal of three days. The first item she earned quickly but then lost interest. We’ve solicited her for suggestions on what she’d like to earn and only found one thing she really wanted (new undies). It was also tricky after she earned her third check mark for the item. Days four through seven had zero motivation since there were no check marks to lose, once she earned her reward. I’m certainly open to other ideas!
Lynette says
Hi Chlone! Good luck! This system worked really well for us. We still had a few messes but for the most part he was really motivated to get to his prize. We found the same thing with something like your check mark system. The kids are smart!
Lori says
I used “Potty-Training in a day” system 30 years ago with my twin daughters, and 22 years ago with my son. It works better with girls, a boy takes about 3 days, but they were done and no more wet pants, diapers, or bed. I don’t know if you can even find the book anymore, but you just dedicate a full day to feeding salty foods, lots of water, feeding a baby doll water, and getting up and down a lot to take care of the potty. LONG, LONG day, but as I said it was done. They are still potty trained today. LOL
Lynette says
Great tips Lori! I will have to check out that book when we potty train my second. 🙂
Abbey says
Thanks for the idea! My son has a little training potty so we’re ready when he’s ready.
Heather Wiegand says
Thank you! I have tried EVERY potty training tip! My little girl is 4 and just flat out refuses to go unless I make her. She is “trained” but doesn’t have an incentive! Maybe this is the ticket! (BTW – I don’t feel this harms our children, but gives them an early lesson for learning there are consequences for our actions!) To each their own…;)
Lynette says
Thanks Heather! I agree. I look at this as a path to a goal and the “consequence” keeps us from getting there as fast. It’s working really well for us and I’ve never seen my four year old so motivated! Let me know how it goes!
Ali says
I hope you realize how damaging you are being to your child. If he isn’t comfortable going potty and holds it because you discipline him for having a messy pull up, you can cause some serious problems with his insides. If you potty train properly at the right time, the experience itself has natural rewards and consequences.
Abbey says
I don’t think she’s” damaging” anything. She’s not spanking or putting him in timeout. We had a system with my daughter. If she peed in the potty, she got a sticker. If she pooped in the potty, she got a temporary tattoo. It took 3 months before she was ready to wear big girl undies at night and she to lost privileges if she lied about her pull up being dry so she could get a sticker. S
Tricia says
I had to get the “wet stop alarm” cause my little guy (6 years old) had no idea what he was doing in his sleep, 30 days later, no more pull ups, been successful for a year now- just in cause this doesn’t work for you 🙂
Lynette says
Thanks Tricia! I’ll have to look into that if this doesn’t work. So far, so good. 🙂